Well, today marks 200 days of cowardice. 200 days of sitting here in my cabin pretending to be busy instead of going back to the eastern mountains and finding my 8-limbed friend. 200 days of telling myself I can do it later, it’s not urgent.
I like to call myself a scientist, or at least an explorer. That’s why I took the berth on the Cabot. Gonna see things no one else has ever seen.
Then I do just that and what do I do? Run away like a fucking idiot.
And never go back.
Coward.
Damn it.